Who I am
by Foshizzlebeth
Summary: This is a Reveal fic that I wrote before the last episode of Merlin. No Murthur planned but probably some friendship fluff. This is my first FanFic to be published online so R&R would be greatly appreciated! This story is subject to change because there is always room for improvement.
1. In Which Merlin Falls Victim to Monday

**A/N: This is a fic I wrote about the magic reveal. I started writing it a few days before the last episode of Merlin but me finishing it basically depends on whether people like it or not. Please let me know what you think! This is my first fic I've ever shared with anyone who wasn't one of my sisters so critiques are welcome! (Just please be nice... I'm a fragile soul... :P)**

**I obviously don't own Merlin because if I did, there would be more seasons. **

* * *

Since the dawn of man, there has been one day hated above all others. This day, thought by many to be cursed by the gods, is one which nearly always renders workers obscenely exhausted and, as their masters see it, useless. This day, dubbed Monday by some unknown victim of its merciless power, has become the bane of existence for so many inhabitants of this world and all others like it. This day, for one young warlock in particular, had gotten off to a particularly nasty start. With the inside of a jail cell.

It wasn't his fault. Not really. If Arthur wasn't such a prat he would have given Merlin the day off, as he had promised. But no. No, some unexpected visitor from a neighbouring kingdom had sent word that he would be arriving in a matter of days, hurtling the entire castle into a whirlwind of cooking and cleaning in preparation for his arrival.

This did not sit well with Merlin. He had plans. Very specific plans, in fact, which consisted of not doing any work for king Prat, no matter what. That, he supposed, is where the trouble started.

When Arthur came through the door to inform him that he would not be getting time off until further notice, he had been given no choice but to use magic. It had all been going fine. It wasn't as if he had never done this before and, honestly, he probably wouldn't have been caught at all if a certain group of young guards hadn't burst through the door at exactly the wrong moment. And, well, the rest was not exactly unpredictable. The guards took him to the dungeon without hesitation. Merlin did not resist. He knew that he would have multiple opportunities to escape of the need arose. Being captured sent the message that he meant no harm. He hoped that Arthur would receive it.


	2. In Which A Secret Is Revealed

**Hey, guys! Sorry for the long wait, I've been bogged down with schoolwork... Anyway, Happy Valentines day! Thank you all so much for the reviews! I love them more than oxygen and FREAKED out when I found out that you all are enjoying my story! I hope you like this chapter!  
I still don't own Merlin. :(**

Merlin did not have to wait for very long before Arthur came to see him. To his great surprise, however, Arthur did not seem as upset as he would've thought. He stopped in front of the cell and frowned as if to say that Merlin were being particularly stupid for having been arrested by his men. For a moment, Merlin was seized with an immense hope that Arthur was not upset. That he had somehow known all along and had come to tell Merlin that it was okay. That he should get back to work and be more careful next time because Arthur had a kingdom to run and more important things to worry about, for God's sake. Merlin met his gaze evenly, as if it were all a strange dream.

"Merlin," Arthur began, tilting his head to one side, "explain to me how someone so incredibly stupid can manage to convince five of Camelot's finest guards that he's a sorcerer." He crossed his arms, waiting for a response. Merlin exhaled, releasing breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. To his own surprise, though, it was not a breath of relief. Instead, it sent his heart sinking into his stomach as his head began to spin. Arthur didn't know. Arthur refused to see what had been staring him in the face since they'd first met. Arthur chose to believe Merlin over five of "Camelot's finest."

"Well, Merlin? I'm waiting."

"They'd never been a problem before" Merlin murmured softly, half hoping Arthur wouldn't hear.

"What does that mean?"

"Arthur." Merlin paused. After years of being with him, protecting him, /serving/ him; how could he just risk throwing it all away now? He was supposed to protect Arthur, it was his destiny and he would have no way to fulfill said destiny if he was stuck in a prison cell. But, then, how could he not? Arthur had always trusted him. How could he go on and continue to betray that trust, especially when Arthur believed him against the word of five of his own guards? He had no reason to. It was Merlin's word against theirs and he had chosen to believe Merlin's before even having heard it. All of his trust and loyalty, it had no foundation. Nothing. "Arthur, your guards. They- they were right."

"Don't be stupid, Merlin. That's-"

"No! Arthur, listen to me. Please. I am a sorcerer. I have magic."

"You can't be serious, Merlin."

"I am. I've always been." Merlin tried desperately to meet Arthur's eye "Look. I-I'll show you." he held out his hand towards the torches hanging on the wall. "Hors, beride þá heofonum." his eyes flashed golden and the smoke from the torches twisted into the form of a mare. Merlin had only used this spell once before and it had resulted in a witch hunter being brought to Camelot, nearly killing Gaius, but he wanted to /create/ something. To show Arthur that magic was beautiful and could be used for good. He wanted Arthur to be okay. To say something. To _look_ at him.

"You've had magic? This whole time? All the while that we-" Arthur's voice broke as he trailed off.

"Yes."

"Then you know what must be done." he turned away from Merlin and walked out, pausing only to murmur orders to the guards that they were not to speak with him. He walked out of dungeons without so much as a single glance back at the young warlock he left behind.

•••

Merlin sunk to the ground and put his head in his knees, letting out a howl if despair. There was a loud clang as one of the younger guards jumped, obviously on edge at the idea of having to stand guard over such a dangerous criminal. It would almost have been comical to Merlin, had he not been in such a state of shock. Arthur couldn't be serious- could he? After everything they'd gone through together? It was all his fault. This betrayal; How could Arthur _not_ hate him?

Merlin wondered if this was meant to happen. He had helped Arthur become king. Maybe his own death was the next step in bringing about peace. He wondered how it felt to be burnt. Obviously it hurt. He tried to imagine the extreme heat, the pain of the flames licking an arm, a leg, a foot before completely engulfing and consuming everything until fire became all that there ever was. He wondered how long it took before the victim's entire life was reduced to ash. No. That wouldn't happen. How could it? Arthur would come around. He would see that magic wasn't evil. See that _Merlin_ wasn't evil. Whether he did or not, Merlin figured that he would have to wait for a while longer before deciding in his next move. Until then, he would have to pray that Arthur would make his decision soon.

Merlin knew that he should have anticipated this. True, king and servant had been through a lot together, but didn't that just make this worse? Going to Hell and back without knowing the true identity of a so-called loyal servant? He should have known that it would come out eventually and that Arthur would be hurt and upset when it did. Possibly hurt enough to forget their friendship. Hurt enough to kill? Why not? Arthur had a kingdom to run. Merlin knew that. He couldn't expect Arthur to spare the life of one person and execute others for the same crime.

He wished that it wasn't true. To be honest, he didn't even know what he would do if Arthur's decision led to an execution. He lifted his head and rested it back against the wall, hoping that he hadn't just made a mistake that would cost him- or worse, Arthur- his life.

**So, what did you think? Please give me any suggestions you have! The next chapter will probably focus on either Arthur or Gwaine. It depends on which makes more sense chronologically. Please let me know which you would like to see first! Thank you all!  
Xx  
Foshizzlebeth**


	3. In Which the Author is Very Sorry

Okay, so I've got some explaining to do. First, I would like to express how sorry I am for the delay, but this is not an update. I've been super bogged down with work in preparation for my AP tests. I finished my last one today so I should be able to get some work done on this fic. Please don't give up on me and thank you all for your support! This next chapter will hopefully be a longer one to make up for the wait!

Thank you for your wonderful support!

-Foshizzlebeth

Ps. Let me know in the comments if there is anyone who you want to see or anything that you want to see happen in the next chapter and I will try to put it in for you as an apology. :)


	4. The King's Dilemma

**A/N**  
**So here it is! Chapter 3! I tried to make this one longer so it took awhile. :) This chapter is pretty much just Arthur going back and forth with himself so we'll see how this goes. As always, review is appreciated!  
(Also, I didn't really edit this because I wanted to get it up so please forgive obvious spelling/grammatical errors.)**

Arthur stormed out of the dungeons and up to his bedroom, glad that Guinevere was out for the day overseeing a few things for the arrival of their guest. His first thought was that the room was disastrously dirty. His second was that Merlin would not be the one to clean it. Arthur's head was swimming. Magic was evil. Merlin had magic. Merlin _wasn't_ evil. It just didn't make sense. If Merlin had been a sorcerer this whole time, why wasn't Arthur dead? Why hadn't he been killed long ago? Unless Merlin's magic was weak. Maybe the horse trick had been the most advanced thing he knew. Maybe Merlin was as bad at murder as he was at keeping armor polished.

No, that didn't make sense. Merlin may not have been the best servant but he wasn't a moron, no matter how often Arthur insisted that he was. His thoughts continued to swirl around until he was back to the start. The only thing that he could focus on and the only thing that he was sure of at the moment: Merlin had magic. _Merlin_. Of all the people in the entire kingdom, it was the last person who Arthur would have expected to betray him. That's what this was. A betrayal. Even if he hadn't actually killed Arthur, that didn't mean that he'd never tried. But what if he _had_ never tried? What if Merlin, despite having magic, had never attempted to kill him? Arthur frowned. No. That was stupid. Of course Merlin wanted Arthur dead. It was the basis of everything that he knew or heard or had ever been taught about magic: it was evil. Merlin had said it himself- there could be no place for magic in Camelot. That was it, then. Merlin had to pay for his crimes against the kingdom. It was treasonous. To practice magic was to go against Camelot and Arthur himself.

Arthur kicked over a chair and sunk down against the wall. He had said to Merlin that he knew what needed to be done but in all reality, Arthur had no idea whatneeded to be done or what could be done, for that matter. The obvious answer would be to sentence him to death. It's what he'd been taught his whole life and he was king, for God's sake so how could he not? He pondered it for a moment and wondered how he would bring himself to sign the death warrant. He didn't think he would be able to do it, especially not if Guinevere found out. She would be horrified at the mere suggestion of putting Merlin to death. What would she say if she discovered that Arthur was even considering it? What would his father say if he discovered that Arthur was not?

Arthur knew the answer to that before it had fully formed in his mind. His father would tell him that it was his obligation to Camelot to rid the land of every magic user. He wouldn't understand Arthur's hesitance over ending the life of a mere servant. He would look Arthur in the eyes and insist that he put his fondness for his manservant aside and do his duty.

…And then he would try to kill the Queen.

Perhaps his father wouldn't be the best indication of how to handle the situation.

Pushing himself off of the ground, Arthur walked out of his bedchamber, leaving the door open and the room a mess. He strode down the hall and the stars aimlessly, passing a set of maids rushing about and nearly knocking one over. He paused for a moment to utter a half-conceived apology before stomping off. The three maids watched his retreat before continuing up the stars, commenting on the King's strange behavior for a moment before moving on to more interesting gossip about what the Queen would be wearing to the feast as Arthur's heavy footsteps echoed down the corridor behind him.

How could he have been so stupid? Not only had there been a sorcerer living in Camelot right under his nose, but he had fallen for all of his trickery for so long. He had asked him for advice. He had allowed the magic wielder to live under his roof and serve him meals. He had allowed him to fetch the knight's armor. To polish it. Arthur wondered if any of the knights' weapons had been tampered with-tainted by the harsh sting of sorcery. His entire army had been put at risk- his entire kingdom could have fallen-and it was all because of some careless mistake on his part. All of the armor and weapons would need to be replaced. Arthur wondered if the metal could be melted down and reused or if he would have to use freshly-mined materials. Arthur supposed that fresh would be better but wasn't sure if the kingdom could afford to replace an entire army's worth of materials. He would certainly have to cut back on the number of festivals. Not, of course, that he had much to celebrate after discovering that his entire kingdom was falling apart. Honestly, how would the Camelot get on without Merlin? How could he get on without Merlin? He could barely dress himself much less run a kingdom without that idiot running around to tell him when he was wrong.

What the hell had Merlin been thinking, anyway? Coming to Camelot as a wizard was as good as suicide and he had strolled through the front door and gotten a job as servant to the prince! Arthur always told Merlin how stupid he was but that was downright insane! What if Uthur had found out about it while he was king? Merlin would have been killed in the blink of an eye. The worst part was that Arthur knew he would have stood up for him. He _had_ stood up for him on multiple occasions. Arthur would fight and disobey his father to the ends of the earth in order to save Merlin so why wasn't he doing something about it now? Arthur supposed that the difference was about experience. He was King now and it was his responsibility to ensure order within the walls of Camelot at any cost. Arthur was faced with an alarming truth: it was his duty to eliminate all sorcery in Camelot. It didn't matter who he thought his friends were or who he wanted to save because Merlin had _admitted_ to a crime. It was high treason and it could not be encouraged by any stretch of the imagination. Merlin would have to be executed for his crimes against the kingdom.

He pushed the heavy oak door to the throne room open and paused to look at the throne. He thought about the history of magic in the kingdom. All evidence showed that there was no place for it in Camelot. He couldn't allow it. He was king and was bound by the laws of the land In order to protect his kingdom and his people. Arthur had nearly died at the hands of magic on several occasions so how could he allow Merlin to live? Then again, Merlin had saved his ass on more than half of those occasions so how could Arthur allow him to die? Hadn't the whole reason for Merlin being his manservant been because Merlin had saved his life? Arthur guessed that Merlin had used magic to save his life on more than one occasion. He also guessed that magic had endangered his life more often than he even knew about.

What would Merlin do in this situation? Merlin would Tell him to stop being a clotpole and talk to him about it. Merlin would ask where the hell Arthur got off strutting about like he was king of the world while Merlin waited in a dungeon to hear what would happen to him. Arthur wanted to do something but he didn't know _what_ to do. He wanted to yell and punch someone and scream and fight _back_ against something. He considered crying but dismissed the idea because there was no sense in looking weak in front of the palace guards mere days before an important visitor arrived. If he was being completely honest with himself, though, he was afraid. Arthur was used to problems that he could fight with a sword and mace and protect himself from with a shield. This- this /thing/ with Merlin was, well, impossible to figure out.

It just didn't make any sense to Arthur. Merlin was the antithesis of evil, so how could he possibly have any sort of magic? Merlin was good. Magic was evil. How was it possible? Something didn't add up and he didn't like it. What if Merlin was good and had magic which was corrupting him? Suppose Merlin had magic forced upon him by some evil sorcerer and was trying to fight off the urge to do evil? Suppose he had been cursed? That would make sense. Well, more sense than anything else was making. No less sense, at least. If there was a curse that forced Merlin to have magic then there had to be a cure and if there was a cure, then Arthur wasn't completely helpless. Merlin couldn't be executed for a crime that he had never intentionally committed. If a peasant were being forced to steal by a ruthless thug, then the thug would be punished and the peasant set free. Likewise, if Merlin were being forced to have magic by a wicked sorcerer, then the sorcerer would be punished and Merlin set free. It was simple. Or, it would be simple if Arthur's brain would stop thinking and just accept his damn theory. The problem was that Arthur had _seen_ the magic. He has actually seen Merlin's normally blue eyes flash gold with the color of sorcery. The eyes were undeniably Merlin's. There was nothing behind them- no evil entity or being- just Merlin's eyes staring into his own and pleaded for him to understand. Arthur wanted to understand but it was impossible. No matter how hard he tried or how long he spent with his servant, he would never be able to understand how his best friend and most trusted ally had betrayed him. A part of him was afraid to understand. Suppose he did change his mind about sorcery? What then? What of the Kingdom? Camelot would be thrown into ruin and disarray as magic-users demonstrated their full power. Why, it could insight a rebellion. No. Arthur could not see Merlin yet. He was too afraid of what he might do. He needed to think.

What would Gaius say? Arthur knew that he would have to tell him, though he was already beginning to dread it. He tried to imagine telling him that the boy who had acted as a son to him for so many years was to be burned at the stake for high treason against Camelot and shuddered. He couldn't do that. Not yet, anyway. He did have to tell him that Merlin was a sorcerer, though. Personally. Arthur owed it to the physician for his years of loyalty.

He strode to the main floor, leaving the door open and the room a mess. He waved off a group of young knights who came to him with questions about security for their visitor's arrival. He didn't have time for it. He turned the corner and headed for Gaius' chambers before changing his mind and heading back down the other way, then back to Gaius,' then back the other way until he was doing nothing but pacing back and forth down the hallway. He knew that he had to tell him but he couldn't. Not until he had his own thoughts together. What was he supposed to do? Just walk in and tell him? Maybe he should just write him a letter. No. He had to do it. Now. He turned on his heel once more and finished his walk down the hallway and into the physician's room. He knocked twice on the door before cautiously pushing it open.

**Thank you for reading! Please leave suggestions in the comments. :) ALSO! I promised in the last "Chapter" that I would take suggestions and I did get one but I'm either really bad at using this site still or it got taken down so I apologize if you requested something for this chapter and it was not included. The next chapter will probably contain Gwaine and will actually include dialogue! Yay!**

Thank you so much for staying with me!

**~Foshizzlebeth**


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